GameWaste is now on permanent hiatus. Night night.

This is why there’s been hardly any content on here for the last couple of months. Harmless fun, it seems, isn’t harmless at all. It’s a smear on my credibility according to some. So I’m not really sure what to do with this blog anymore. It might be best to shut it down completely. While I while away what to do, here’s a spoilerific clip to watch about everyone who died in gaming this year..

And by ‘everyone who died’ I mean gaming characters who are no more. Not real people, mind.

The postman brought me a a gut-fattening barrage of cake. Nice Postman!

A ton of cupcakes. I can’t toss them because I’ll hear my mother intoning “Think Of The Starving Children”.  This is why my other half’s office is in for a treat tomorrow.

Professionally-made cakes. You can tell from the exactness and attention to detail

They look rather scrumptious, don’t they? This got me to thinking that PRs who send me a lot of this stuff usually get eff-all back. This is why I’m about to trek across London with my box of cakes, what I made decorated at the weekend.

Nick-made cakes. You can tell from their lop-sided, mutant-like appearance

Okay, so they don’t look so much decorated as they do look like someone abused them with an icing gun. But hey, I made them with luuuurve!

In all fairness, though, I’d put this sucker up even if no one else gave a toss about BioShock Infinite. First off, it’s the game I’m most looking forward to next year. Second, it’s made by Ken Levine and Irrational, the people behind the best story told in gaming in the last ten years (BioShock, in case you’re interested). Third, this trailer isn’t just cool, it’s necessary; in light of the fact that high-profile games wizards seem to be leaving Irrational every other day, this is a timely reminder – and hopefully a confirmation – that Infinite isn’t well on its way to becoming vaporware.

In other news, GameWaste was passed over by the GMAs for best blog in favour of Hookshot Inc. I’m no way bitter and filled with hatred for them – they’re such a nice bunch of guys that losing a GMA to them doesn’t hurt at all – not one little bit. However, GameWaste has plans to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and return with enough puerile nonsense to crush all comers next year! You heard it here first!

In other other news, XCOM has dropped from 7th to 10th in the UK games sales charts. This should not be. XCOM is ten pounds of awesome in a five pound tin, and hands down, one of the best games you’ll play all year. Go out and buy a copy now. NOW!

It also pays to have attended an event for a cross media piece of entertainment called ‘Defiance’ where they’re serving themed drinks! If you don’t know what Defiance is, check out the trailer. If you still don’t know what it is, then do some research, you lazy sods! I can’t be expected to do all the heavy lifting in these blog posts, ya know.

For the purposes of this post, though, Defiance is a sci fi series that’s premiering on Sy Fy next year, and it involves the struggle for racial harmony between alien races and humans in a post-apocalyptic future (yes, another one). One of these races is known as the Castithan, and they imbibe a beverage called Castithan Absinthe. Well, actually they don’t, but the event organisers needed a drink and that’s what they came up with. Here’s what goes into it:

1 shot of Tequila
1 shot of Gin
A splash of Vodka
A splash of Rum
A splash of Grenadine
Top it off with Orange Juice and Curacao Bleu

Be warned: This drink may taste like a melted ice lolly, but three of these will put Morris Dancers in your cranium the following morning without fail. Your friends at GameWaste urge you to drink responsibly. Or something…

Here’s something you probably don’t know about me: I follow basketball. I know. Earth-shattering, isn’t it? I bet your perception of me is completely blown, but there it is. I’ve followed basketball in general since about 1991, so I know why so many fans have it in for Lebron James and I know King James has a ways to go before he’s MJ. I’ve also followed the New York Knicks in particular since about 1991, so yes, I know what heartache feels like.

I got into basketball through the film Teen Wolf. Shut up. The end of that film is awesome.

And then after that, you know, when Scott wins the game with two shots off a personal foul and dumps the blonde bimbo for Boof? Yeah, it’s awesome.

Anyway, shortly after that I got into basketball sim made by EA called Lakers Vs Celtic: The NBA Playoffs, which looked like this:

It may look a little pokey now, but at the time, LVsC was my gateway into a sport that had zero coverage in the country I grew up in (South Africa, in case you’re wondering). This all changed in 1993, when basketball became the world’s fastest growing sport thanks to the rise of Michael Jordan and the Olympic Gold Medalist Team USA. All of a sudden we had Inside NBA and the odd game broadcast on cable.

By then, though, I was screwed, because I was a Knicks fan. The reason for this is because I always played LVsC with the Knicks as they were the hardest team to beat the game with and I wanted a challenge. I was also young and dumb and so I didn’t make the mental leap and deduce that the reason the Knicks were the most difficult team to clock the game with is because they sucked. Because I also lived so far away from the US of A, I was also unaware that most NBA fans loathe and despise the Knicks along with the people who support them. Oh well, you don’t pick your team – your team picks you, so at least I can blame fate along with my own youthful stupidity on being a Knicks fan.

Once I’d relocated to Britain in 2,000, basketball kind of dropped off the radar for me. I was, however, able to reconnect with the NBA in recent years – and no thanks here is due to the Knicks’s insipid and cruddy smartphone app, which is one of the most terrible things ever. Up until it bit the dust entirely this year, it was less updated than this blog – and that’s saying something.

No, instead my love for basketball was rekindled by the entertaining gang of ne’er-do-wells known as The Basketball Jones. If you have any interest at all in basketball, I truly suggest you follow them at The Score; the blog is an entertaining bag of gags and information and they present one of the best podcasts available on the internet. Note I didn’t say ‘basketball podcast’. That’s because it’s one of the best podcasts, period. Doubt me? Head over there now while they’re broadcasting something called The [BLANK] Jones in the off-season. Last episode dealt with building yourself a successful podcast, so budding games casters of the future should take note; since TBJ started out in the kitchen and has since made it to The Score, it’s a ton to a tenner these guys know what they’re talking about.

So now I guess I should address the title of the entry in today’s blog – it’s a shameless plug. One of the TBJ hosts, Tas Melas, has a wife who runs what sounds like an awesome milk and cookies shop in Toronto called The Moo Milk Bar. Since this only the second time I’ve ever been in this neck of the woods, I plan to sample some cookies and milk this afternoon in some weird pilgrimage that began at Teen Wolf and ended at Like A Bosh.

TBJ, I salute you!

To be honest, if Mario had some combat mechanics, I’d be more inclined to give it a go…

There you have it! The revolution that threw off the shackles of the oppressive British Empire pales into insignificance next to the antics of a hooded wetboy hacking up redcoats, tiptoeing across rooftops and having chats in candlelit rooms with wig-wearing blokes.
This ups the dramatic stakes of the AC franchise immensely because AC: III’s story has some lofty heights to reach. Stay tuned!

Cafe De Paris gets the Pandarian treatment

Last night Blizzard launched the new World Of Warcraft expansion pack and they were kind enough to invite me down to eat their food, drink their booze and generally make a nuisance of myself with my camera phone! I went about doing just that, while noting down some interesting items and people in my immediate vicinity.

19h15:Noted PR Hero JB at Blizzard is no longer on crutches. His football days are now behind him, but at least he’s walking without steel rods. Noted that the bar has yet to open.

When the timer hits zero, it’s time to buy some Kung Fu Pandas!

19h30:Noted wide screen TVs showing a countdown clock to the expansion pack’s launch.

Woman on stilts wows the people queued up to buy WOW.

19h45: Noted Asian ladies on stilts outside the venue passing by fans who are queued up outside the venues in the rain. Noted the ladies have umbrellas. Smart.

20h00: Noted the bar has opened. Bartender starts pouring out a Blizzard-themed cocktail created just for this event: Pandarian Punch.

Pandarian punch. That’s crap. Gimme a decent drink!

In the interests of journalistic investigation, I take it upon myself to try a glass. And then another just to make sure. And then yet another to reach a definitive verdict. I decide it tastes like J2O with an alcoholic tang. Nowhere near as good as a Sleeping Dog. Time for a beer.

20h15: NotedG McAllister from GameReactor wandering around the event in total paparazzi mode. He snaps the media. Snaps the PRs. Snaps the stage filled with Kung Fu Pandas hurling Harebo at some of the punters Blizzard have allowed in. Then he snaps me. The nerve! I snap him right back.

Gillen McAllister says “I see you!”

Note that G McAllister has cut his long locks into a bob, and now looks like Jesus. Note G McAllister turns some water into wine at the bar and then resumes his pap snapping.

LEGO WOW figures? NO! Building Blox WOW figurines!

20h47:Noted LEGO World Of Warcraft toys. Shake head and clear out the punch of the Pandarian punches. See instead that it’s WOW Boom Blox instead, which is to LEGO as Go-Bots are to Transformers. More Pandarian Punch needed.

The winner of the competition apparently queued up for a week to get his copy

22h55:Note jovial host reveals to the crowd the two fans that have been queued up for this launch for the longest period of time. The person waiting the second longest apparently waited outside the venue for a day and a half. This announcement garners a smattering of applause from the crowd. The person who waited the longest stated that he’d been outside the venue for a week. This announcement is greeted with a stunned silence. I wonder out loud how this person took care of their bodily functions. Am told confidently by a fellow hack that it’s easy to shit in a phone box. Decide against asking fellow hack how they know this. Move away from fellow hack and grab a Pandarian Punch. These things are growing on me.

23h01: Doors to venue fly open and the WOW faithful flood into the venue to grab their expansion pack. I nearly get run over by a Worgen – a friggin’s Worgen!!

A Worgen pitched up to get her copy of Mists. A friggin’ Worgen!

23h31: Decide to head for the hills with my goody-bag! Take one last snap of the fans for posterity.

Fans queue up for some swag!

24h01:Arrive home. Check out the Goody bag! Decide to be magnanimous. Who wants some swag?

Who wants some Mists Of Pandaria swag?

Write below in the comments about why you love WOW and what you’re looking forward to in Kung Fu Panda Mists Of Pandaria and these items could be yours!

Mind you, everyone who has ever played Mario has wanted to respond to Toad’s glib “sorry Mario, but the princess is in another castle” pronouncement in just the way Mario does in that video. Oh, and checkout Dorkly‘s channel. It’s rather good!